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Children Say The Darndest Things




A mother was telling her little girl what her own childhood was like "We used
to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree
in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."

The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure wish
I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you
and God are alike?"

I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how are we alike?"

"You're both old," he replied.


A little girl was diligently pounding away on her father's word processor.
She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked. "I don't
know," she replied. "I can't read."

I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to
test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was.
She would tell me, and always she was correct. But it was fun for me, so I
continued. At last she headed for the door, saying sagely, "Grandma, I think
you should try to figure out some of these yourself!"


Our five-year-old son Mark couldn't wait to tell his father about the movie we
had watched on television, "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea." The scenes with the
submarine and the giant octopus had kept him wide-eyed.
In the middle of the telling, my husband interrupted Mark, "What caused the
submarine to sink?"
With a look of incredulity Mark replied, "Dad, it was the 20,000 leaks!"


When my grandson, Billy, and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights
off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects.
Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy
whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are coming after us with

When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure."
"Look in your underwear, Grandma," he advised. "Mine says I'm four."

A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, guess
what? We learned how to make babies today." The mother, more than a little
surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said,
"How do you make babies?"
"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to ' i' and add 'es'."