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Oh No...Not Writing Again!


Kathy Dingus




A Mother I know and shall remain nameless to protect those involved from potential embarrassment, made her children, regardless of age write a story when they argued, and she had done everything she knew to "end the chaos."

Her teenage son and daughter were arguing one evening and had really gone at each other for a few minutes. After her pleas to stop were ignored she finally told them to write a one-page essay on how much they loved each other.

The result of this solution is shown below:

From Teenage Son:

I love my sister because she is the only sister I have. I love her because she is she and doesnít take any B.S. for who she is. I love my sister because she is pretty. I love my sister because she is blind. I love my sister because she is bigger than I am. I love my sister because she loves me. I love my sister because she takes care of her pets, even though sometimes they die. I love my sister because she is my sister and I need not give any further reason but I have to fill the rest of this page because my mother told me to, and I also do it because I love my sister and I want to show it in this way so that some day she can look back on it and say that her Rock Star brother loved her dearly, just as she loves me. And then she will regret all of the bad times we spent together writing these papers about how much we love each other. We love each other dearly.

His mother read this and decided that he had not really gotten into the spirit of the paper, and decided that her should write another Ĺ page. So the son continued:

I love her because we have been together for 15 wondrous years. I have protected her and donít let anyone say anything bad about her. Thatís My job and nobody elseís. I love her because from time to time I learn from her. She laughs at most of my jokes and she laughs at her own, even when nobody else finds them funny. She is my best friend. She always finds something at fault. She acts so ditzy at times that I want to slap her, but yet I remember we have laughed, cried, fought, loved, talked, shared and taught each other not to mess with each other, We still do though, and we still love each other anyway. We havenít disowned each other yet. So...itís looking good.

His mother decided that maybe this would do for now, and concentrated on her daughterís essay. It read like this:

I love my brother very much even though he is the slime of the earth. I love him despite his many shortcomings. Yet, he has his good points. He never fails to make me laugh even though he made me angry in the first place. He is funny, kind (most of the time), talented, caring (when he wants to be), and helps me often.

He has his driverís license which is a plus! But, seriously I do love him because of his personality, life, effervescence and sunny outlook. Itís tough to find such people these days.

I love him because of what we have shared over the years. We have been partners-in-crime, partners-in-sentence-writing, in laughter and tears. I know he loves me even though he gets angry at me very often and because our wills clash. I love him because and in spite of who he is. He is my brother, my confidante, my friend, my chauffeur, my bouncer, my teacher and my student...but most of all a person I love to love. I love you bubby!

After reading this, the mother smiled . . . mission accomplished.