
SUBJECT: CELEBRITY
LETTERS
via the internet -
author unknown
MARTHA STEWART TO ERMA BOMBECK
Hi Erma:
This perfectly
delightful note is being sent on paper I made myself to tell you
what I have been up to. Since it snowed last night, I got up early
and made a sled with old barn wood and a glue gun. I hand painted
it in gold leaf, got out my loom, and made a blanket in peaches
and mauve. Then to make the sled complete, I made a white horse
to pull it from DNA that I just had sitting around in my craft
room.
By then, it was
time to start making the place mats and napkins for my 20 breakfast
guests. I'm serving the old standard Stewart 12_course breakfast,
but I'll let you in on a little secret: I didn't have time to
make the tables and chair this morning, so I used the ones I had
on hand.
Before I moved
the table into the dining room, I decided to add just a touch
of the holidays. So I repainted the room in pinks and stenciled
gold stars on the ceiling. Then, while the homemade bread was
rising, I took antique candle molds and made the dishes (exactly
the same shade of pink) to use for breakfast. These were made
from Hungarian clay, which you can get in almost any Hungarian
craft store.
Well, I must
run. I need to finish the buttonholes on the dress I'm wearing
for breakfast. I'll get out the sled and drive this note to the
post office as soon as the glue dries on the envelope I'll be
making.
Hope my breakfast
guests don't stay too long. I have 40,000 cranberries to string
with bay leaves before my speaking engagement at noon.
Love, Martha
Stewart
P.S. When I made
the ribbon for this typewriter, I used 1/8 inch gold gauze. I
soaked the gauze in a mixture of white grapes and blackberries
which I grew, picked, and crushed last week just for fun.
RESPONSE FROM ERMA
BOMBECK:
Dear Martha:
I am writing
this on the back of an old shopping list, pay no attention to
the coffee and jelly stains. I'm 20 minutes late getting my daughter
up for school, packing a lunch with one hand, on the phone with
the dog pound, seems old Ruff needs bailing out, again.
Burnt my arm
on the curling iron when I was trying to make those cute curly
fries, how DO they do that?
Still can't find
the scissors to cut out some snowflakes, tried using an old disposable
razor . . . trashed the tablecloth. Tried that cranberry thing,
frozen cranberries mucked up after I defrosted them in the microwave.
Oh, and don't
use Fruity Pebbles as a substitute in that Rice Krispie snowball
recipe, unless you happen to like a disgusting shade that resembles
well, you know . . . (throw up).
The smoke alarm
is going off, talk to you later.
Love,
Erma
_
I know these
fictional letters from Martha and Erma sound funny and not very
realistic (except maybe Erma's). But how often do we find ourselves
looking at others and judging them from our viewpoint? I am not
the consummate homemaker. I would like to be the wonderful homemaker,
wonderful wife, wonderful lover, wonderful mother, wonderful professional
office manager, wonderful friend and just plain old wonder woman
all rolled into one. But how many of us are all of those things?
I don't think
I could hold up under Martha Stewart's scrutiny for very long.
Do you think you could? Maybe you could be one of those rare persons
who can be all things to all people. But I'm not, and I don't
think very many of us can be.
If we could have
our choice as to what we would be, what choice would we make?
Who would we want to please the most? Our husband maybe. Or maybe
it would be our wonderfully professional boss. Maybe it would
be our children. For some it might be their Father or their Mother.
It could even be someone else I haven't thought of.
How about God?
Where would He fit in this equation? Would we choose Him first?
Now there's a thought. Choose to please God above my husband .
. . my children . . . my parents?
Choosing to please
God first would be like putting Him first in our lives. Loving
Him more than anyone or anything else! I think we've heard about
this before. Could we actually apply putting God above all others
in our lives today? I think so.
It wouldn't be
easy. But I think everyone would benefit from it, our children,
our husbands and parents certainly would. Our employers would
benefit too! By putting God first, and His will in our lives,
we would be living the true way. By putting God first, and living
the life He wants us to live, we would automatically start to
become the kind of person that others would like us to be. We
would be in the process of becoming that loving wife and mother,
children who honor and respect their parents, become loyal and
faithful employees who earnestly want their company to succeed,
for the company's sake and not our own. We wouldn't have to worry
about Mrs. Neighbor next door, and how she lives. We would know
that we were living the best life possible. No guilt, no expectations
not met, and no sorrow over time lost. We would make the most
out of every moment.
Doesn't this
sound wonderful? Kind of like the Millennium . . . and Satan being
bound. His hand stayed from influencing us into the wrong and
unimportant things in life. We can bind Satan and his influence
on our life by actually deciding to live our lives by putting
God first! First and foremost in everything!
Everything else
will fall into place.
I don't know
about you, but I think I'm going to put more effort into putting
God first in my life.
Is there anything
any better anywhere to devote our energies to?
Is there anyone
more trustworthy and loving to surrender to? He has already given
us his unconditional grace. Free of charge. What can we give him?
I think we can
give him top billing in our life unconditionally! Love him with
all our heart, our mind and our soul. If we care more about what
anyone else thinks, more than we care what God thinks about our
life . . . we're on the wrong track.
Let's start off
this new year and spring with a new attitude . . . God first!
Just Loving Him
and trying to put Him first!
