Kids are Wonderful
The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas:
Things I've learned from my Children (honest &no kidding):
1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with rollerblades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not ! strongenough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Supermancape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread painton all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When usinga ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before youget a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by aceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already toolate.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-yearold man says they can only do it in the movies.
10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old.
11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on, plastic toys
do not like
20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24. The mind of a 6-year old is wonderful.
First grade...true story:
25. 60% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake